July 24, 2021
Dearest Jesus, despite I never have seen Your face nor heard You audibly yet, but I am thankful for the fire of affliction that you sent again and again, for the desire of my heart is to be closest to You for an eternity ahead, that I would have a heart of pure gold. I could not do long prayers or write long pages, because I am very unwell. When the word “hurt to the core of my core being” being uttered by mankind, You alone and me would understand what kind of “hurt” that I have been through that others said “hurt” is not the same level of hurt.
Despite I have lost everything in my life, not once, but twice, I came back to You again and thankful for your nourishments that I had while being in the furnace of affliction, going through tests and trials that I do not think anyone would want to go through the first round, let alone the second round. Please make up the years, for I am very young in my 20s, but desire only one thing, is to be with You near Your altar, Lord Jesus. I continue to surrender to Your plan, knowing as long as I am on the earth, there are still trials and suffering.