July 31, 2021
Dearest Jesus, I never have been into a relationship nor do I have any children. I have no local friends in this world and those whom I have called my own had rejected me. I also only got silence from You, for I rely on others for words, dreams and visions, but instead of complaining, You have revealed to me that my trials has a reason, so thank You. I have even lost everything thrice, once in 2012 December, second time in 2020 November and third 2020 December. I am even in full-time disability. But You saw a purpose in me, for it is through these humbling trials it draws me closer to You and be of use as a vessel for You. I felt confused for two years from mid 2019 to mid 2021, but then I ran back to You. During those times, I had been through much trials also.
I can do nothing without my parents right now, due to my disability, it had reminded me of relying on You for everything, for without You I can do nothing, like a little child. I am completely weak right now in my illness, and I am thankful for the trials now, that You have told me my healing is very soon, though not now, so that through my weakness, I can see You more and more with much reliance. I never have been acknowledged in this world nor much of anyone who knows my name. I am thankful that You have chosen me, despite of all my disability.