August 4, 2021
Dearest Jesus, I am just a little sparrow who struggles to hear Your voice within. I have been rejected in this world and even those whom I have called my own. For years, I have been walking in the wilderness of severe solitude, but it is without friends and relationship, I ran to only hear Your voice loud and clear. I consider the things of this world of no value, other than spending time in solitude with You has. There is hope, light and love in You, when I bask into Your presence of unconditional love.
My traumas were so deep and profound, that Alice had created a safe hiding place within, to feel safe from her surrounding. She had created this place inside for all of the fragmented pieces of myself to rest. There was a pseudo-hallucinatory escape into another environment, inside there were the most traumatized ones, crying ones and screaming ones, not realized in the physical realm. I remember back on February 22, 2017, a CATT team nurse came to my home and commented that he had never seen anyone as traumatized as me in his entire 15 years of career. Lord Jesus, You alone and myself understand this safe hiding place had been our survival strategy amid traumas throughout our lives. And yes, I had to address myself in plural form.