July 21, 2021
Dearest Jesus, I want to intervene on behalf of this world. It is my desire for all people be saved. I see there is no meaning to life, except having the only hope in You that matter, which is eternal life. I want all to know that eternal life in You and of Your deep love for each of Your children. Thank you for not forsaking me and have been with me through the darkest times. I felt eternally forsaken by my traumas, when I had repetitive traumas on a daily basis. You told me that I will feel Your love like never before, that it is what heals me, is comforting.
Right now I am feeling very weak and disabled completely. I could not focus like I used to, five years ago since the flashbacks of my traumas had occurred. I feel the traumas had been so deep that even seeing a psychologist would only know the surface of the entire picture. I do not want to talk beyond the surface, because it is both unspeakable and unbelievable. I am very confused with my life right now. I cannot function at all, due to my intellectual disability on the other side as well, on top of my complex traumas.
Please give me the intelligence, strength and energy that I need to face for the basic daily tasks, because I feel useless often, when I struggled with day-to-day management. I always see others are able to advance themselves very quickly, but my head feels blocked and cannot function at that same level. I also have been going through regression, which my psychiatrist had observed. I wonder whether it is my depression that had caused it. Please lift me up and I am thankful that You said You love all of us equally.